Tomb Raider : Hello Alicia

Today is International Women’s day, nestled in the midst of #Me Too and and Times Up – I’m going to review one of those bad ass female icon albeit hyper sexualized Lara Croft, played by Academy Award winners namely Angelina Jolie and Alicia Vikander.

hello Brad

Alicia Vikander now is the new spunky, punky believable Lara, is grittier and closer to home compared to hyper-glamorized, over the top Angelina’s version. With someone narrating the legend of Queen Yamatai who is blessed with a deadly touch, buried in a tomb located in a terrible anti-social island, then off we go - seeing Lara, who grew up, didn’t go to any university, disillusioned and struggling to cope growing up without her dad, her idol, her mentor, her Obi Wan, her reference – "Lord" Richard Croft.

Then Richard goes missing dealing/searching Himiko, the mythical Queen of Yamatai who was said to command the power over life and death. 

For 7 freaking years.

So everyone got bored finding him - declared him DEAD. Enter Kristin Scott Thomas convincing Lara to take up the Croft mantle. While signing documents, she found some clues leading her to her dad’s office and instructed to burn any reminders, papers, research about Himiko.

Put it simply, if bad guys got their hands and unleashed Yamatai, the world will be in deep shit. As usual, if Lara did what Lord Richard said, we have the shortest film ever.

So she went to Hong Kong,convince an unconvincingly drunk Lu Ren (Daniel Wu) to bring her to the island. Here we are introduced to more cardboard flat stock characters bad guys ( militarized, tattooed and such ), led by the excellent Walton Goggins.

Walter is a brilliant actor ( just watch him as Shane in the Shield TV series )  I cringed and convinced myself that Walton taking this role purely for the pay his petrol bills.

He and the rest of the characters are simply - filling the screen, heck- everybody can play the role EXCEPT Alicia Vikander. Then we have a not so Hindustani twist – the not so shocking Lord Richard Croft is still alive!!!!

what makes matter worst is Lord and bad guys working at the same company, one chooses not to come back while one stuck in the island all because of this Yamatai.....

Certain rationale and plot twists made the film from average ( ok not bad ) to literally bad. It is so bad which made me wish that Lord Richard Croft should remained dead and buried. Lara Croft here is so determined and after she found her dad, her dad is simply behaves like a tofu....cmon man....

at least give some grace to Lord Richard Croft, like how Lucas gave grace to Alec Guiness's Obi Wan Kenobi.

Should I explain further?

Should I convince my dear readers to line up, spend your hard-earned money, buying poporn to watch this?

Your choice.

Im doing this as im an Alicia Vikander fan. 

Alicia is a brilliant and versatile actress ( mind you, its objective observation and its not because im a FAN ok ), see the scene where she brought her grounded formality ( she gave us an subtle innocent glee while purchasing a pair of twin HK USP Match hand guns ) unto this video game character.

Mind you this foxy lady burned the screen, Henry Cavill and my eyes in the brilliant The Man from UNCLE, screwed everyone up in Ex-Machina.

If you want a worthwhile Sunday afternoon, just pop back the wonderful Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark which is 100 times better than this.