Bad Writing

sometimes writing can make or break your ad. .this is a good example taken from Maxis 2017 ad - 


ok the client is a telco provider. 
keyword telco is communication.

 The ad is about a couple going thru a divorce, man got his late father's will in the form of a letter, asking him to collect dad's camera, develop the photos in it, found out all the pics is man's wedding. 

 cut to
man and wife in the car, holding hands, crying....

 oooohhhh.....all the memories - this and that....

 and we have this

 "hubungan baik, menentukan destinasi? - a good relationship - sets the destination
"hubungan unggul menyatukan hati?" a superior relationship unites the heart? 

 what is the connection between a telco and a relationship?

 of course you need to say something in the end of the frame to close everything up, to summarize everything....but this - lead the audience to somewhere to nowhere.....

 lesson to maxis - you take care of your existing clients ok. Ive been subscribing to your services for years now and i dont get any freaking discount......


Example No 2 - KFC have the most entertaining ad but again their final frame and tagline destroyed it. Since when its our tradition having KFC in the first day of Raya? We balun rendang and ketupat ok....

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