A Long Ride Back Home

after two weeks driving up and down visiting my dad in the ward, i decided and said to myself - Im going to bring you home dad!!! Whatever it is, you will leave us in your home - not in this freaking hospital.

My heart aches seeing his bruised hands and swollen from all the IV drips, so i proceeded to talk to the doctors.

This is where i realized doctors need to speak to everyone in plain english......

Mr Ee - before you can discharge your dad, he needs a LTOT.What is a LTOT - since he is having breathing difficulties, he needs oxygen 24/7, so LTOT means Long Term Oxygen Treatment. I took a day or two to prep what is needed, took notes of what is needed and eventually rented 5 oxygen tanks, bought what is needed which made my mum jumped.

She looked at the gas tank and said " what is this?"

I replied " its the North Korean Nuclear Missiles"

i rented the left one and its huge.
Lesson No 1 - always have sense of humor, have tons of patience, be practical yet firm and ensure your wallet have cash ok. 

So in the next 3 days, we took a crash course of replacing the tank when its finished. Once i stayed overnight to ensure and to mark how long it will last. Dad's finally stabilized but he requires dressing as developed bed sores, due to inactivity.

My heart hurts when we need to do the horrible dressing, cleaning up the sores.

My other mind was focusing on how to solve another mission, 2 families of Orang Asli needed a house and i have to bring the Indonesian guys to a place where we never been before - of all many places, we ended up in the village with no phone coverage and electricity, perched on top of a freaking hill.

with Brahim and family

Any wrong turn, you end up in the Twilight Zone.

I told my dad about this mission and said i will come back the moment i finished the mission, he nodded and i kissed his forehead. The last kiss - the last physical interaction i'm going to have with him.

What made it bittersweet, i dreamt of him when he passed on - detached himself from the physical world.

Whatever strength inside you shattered as you experience the inevitable goodbye. That is what makes us HUMAN. Vulnerable. Objectively I have no regrets - as i managed to use whatever time i had physically, spiritually and emotionally to be with him.

The kids are spared with this final moments as Dad decided to share his last final moments with........mum.


The one whom he love and cherished the most. The one whom he spent his entire life with.Now 2 years after, my heart still aches whenever i come back, even though DAD is no longer with us physically, i bet he is watching over me and the rest, spiritually bonded - observing whatever nonsense we are doing.



We do love and miss you dad, we'll see each other soon.


Rest Well DAD!!
26th March 2019


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