The Force Awakens : A Review

“Kylo Ren aka is hot” 
 
 
 The statement proves Disney did their job well - just like how Lucas made Jar-Jar lovable to 10 year old kids. ( People need to know that Jar-Jar ( promoted to Senator in ROTS ) gave the final vote to Palpatine to rule the galaxy )
 
Remember we elected way too many Jar-Jar too in our parliament.
 
Lets rewind few months back, while I was busy nailing the walls for the new orang asal’s house, I immediately drove the nearest Mcdonalds to watch the trailer. I got goosebumps all over as Millenium Falcon returned back with the pesky Tie Fighter tailing her. 
 
Man - this is going to be nice Christmas - since Peter Jackson owned it for the past 15 years with his Lord of the Ring and The Hobbit. And as expected we have more trailers and worst – youtube analysis…..they dissected the whole sequences like how the Sarawak Post dissected Jibby. 
 
Anyway lets go back to the Force Awakens. Its been 10 years since we say goodbye to Revenge of the Sith – Disney did a smart move by acquiring Lucasfilm for 4 billion bucks and inform the world world that we going to get Episode 7,8 and 9. Plus couple of stand-alone films that fit whole sequence ( Han Solo, Rogue 1 and etc ) - blowing everyone’s head off. They acquired Marvel too earlier.
 
The question is – is The Force Awakens good? For me personally, I will recommend people to watch Episode 4,5 and 6, ( just skip Episode 1,2 and 3 ). I remember vividly one of my ex scolded me – blaming me that she don’t understand as I jedi - mind- tricked her to watch Empire Strikes Back first – the film where doesn’t have any opening and ending. After a 15 minute explanation - she then watched A New Hope. One of the memorable argument revolves around why Chewy didn’t get the medal like Han and Luke. 
 
Anyway let get back to TFA. JJ Binks honestly is under tremendous pressure as he need to kickstart a new trilogy, he did good by making Star Trek feels like Star Wars. Just like Joss Whedon when he directs Age of Ultron. Their mistake is - too many characters.
 
TFA feels flat. Really flat. Its like hearing a pop song without any chorus, a rock song without any guitar solo – having a Ramlee Burger without chilly sauce.know what I meant?
 
 When you have too many characters - you have to construct an organized structure of narration. So to play safe, get the fan favourites like Han Solo and Chewy anchor the story to the end. Kill someone and ensure the new characters drive the trilogy. Remember JJ did Lost and until today - no explanation of his smoke monster. 
 
JJ – why the hell you need to kill off SOLO so soon…….WHY? You trying to force Luke Skywalker do something stupid in the next episode is it? Training Rey and then jumps off the cliff to be one with the force? Im not even surprised if Rey is Solo’s daughter in order to make the conflict carry some weight.
 
I just cant accept seeing Luke, Solo and Chewy just left the Resistance/Rebels just like that– leaving poor Leia all alone to carry the whole responsibilities. ( Talking about this - imagine mum washing all the plates after a family meal ) That is bad you know. Epic Scumbags. At least Leia should slap Solo when she saw him back.
 
Bet surely Disney will kill Luke after this. It’s unacceptable seeing Chewy’s reaction is too damn slow, got injured even – resulting Han got killed by his own kid named Ben. Why you have to expose Kylo Ren so early? Cant you guys keep it at least to Episode 8? Talking about Kylo Ren – lets create more fangirls eh since Star Wars is filled with overgrown kids like me and 40 year olds? 
 
A change of creative direction perhaps – lets cast an emo looking - Bieber alike Sith instead of gory old looking Vader, Dooku or Maul eh? 
 
 BB8 and Finn steals the show. Seriously, hands down BB8 can win a best actor’s award. That droid acts better than any of our local film-celebrity here. The Starkiller Base is bigger this time, same engineering issues, got blown again for the third time - blame the engineer as usual - I don’t know how the Empire going to get their budget to build a new station next episode – maybe implementing a double GST. 
 
I started munching my popcorn approximately after 30 mins in the film as I got a strong disturbance in the force – as the storyline getting more familiar……DÉJÀ VU, hishhhhh..... this time we have no medal and no soaring anthem.
 
Its like meeting, hugging and kissed my ex-girlfriend who now happens to be prettier, glossier.
 
Damn.

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